We all have enjoyed having conversations
with particular people. They can talk with anyone about any subject in a modest
and casual manner that makes you enjoy spending time with them. Having
conversations with people who master this art form will make you feel like
you’ve known them for years. Many people think that this kind of art is so
difficult to master, and that the maestros are blessed for having it. It’s
somehow true that some people have a certain natural charm, and acquiring the
art of conversation is a skill that will make any person have much more success
in their future.
One of the things I would recommend it
for you to listen more than you speak. People may think that talking is the
essence of this art form, but ironically it’s the opposite. Try to avoid
conversational narcissism. Always ask interesting and thoughtful questions; we
all know that people love to talk about themselves. Try not to ask obvious
questions such as asking about what a person’s job is but instead ask specific
questions. For instance, you can ask what could be the most difficult part in
their job. Try your best to give a
chance for someone else to speak. If you
noticed that you’ve been talking for so long and nobody is asking questions,
commenting, or showing any signs of interactions that most likely shows that
you talked for so long. Hand the microphone to someone else.
You could also prepare in advance some topics
to talk about before an event or a family gathering, however, use this very sparingly.
You don’t want to see just one side of a person. I usually think about the
people that I’m going to meet, and I start preparing topics that fit that group
of individuals. For example, people talking about sports, try gathering some
recent information on sports and prepare it for them, and the same case with
people interested in economy or politics etc. If you don’t know the people
you’ll be conversing with, you can try thinking about topics that might
interest them.
Please, please, please think before you
speak! Many embarrassing situations happen due to the lack of thinking before
speaking. You rant about a person and that person is the uncle of someone in
the room. To avoid offending someone, don’t throw statements out of the blue.
For example, instead of saying, “ Have you seen what that idiot did?” say,
“What do you think of his new plans, do you agree with it?”
Do not interrupt people in the middle of their
sentences. An easy way to avoid this is to wait until the other person has
stopped talking, and it’s your turn to start. Never say,” Are you done?” unless
you prefer being rude. Another kind of interruption is drifting away from the
main point by saying, “By the way…” this kind of interruption will indicate to
the listener that you’re either rude or acting stupid just to show that you
don’t agree with his point.
Don’t talk to one person in a group; this
will make the other people feel awkward and uncomfortable. It doesn’t necessary
have to be literally talking to someone, but also it can be by choosing topics
that only the person you’re conversing with understands such as talking about
events related to his or her job. Moreover, avoid inside jokes and the
“Remember when’s” because only the person you’re conversing with will get these
jokes and you’ll leave the rest of the group bored and uninterested.
Don’t try to act superior to someone. For
example, if someone told you that he bought a new watch, don’t reply by showing
that you have a better watch and this watch was handmade in a European country.
A person who does this will feel that he’s superior over the other; on the
contrary, it’s actually showing his egotistical character.
Avoid giving out too much information.
Trust me, we’ve all met at least one person who pours out their life story and
tell you all of their problems. In a few minutes you will know why his family
isn’t sending him money anymore, what difficulties he has in his relationship
with his wife, and why he will never be able to buy his dream car. Don’t give
everything out to the first person you talk to, if you do, you will show other
people how desperate you are. Also don’t look for deep secrets of the person
you’re talking to, respect other people’s privacy.
The most important rule is that
there are no rules. There aren’t specific steps to follow to carryout a
conversation. Act natural, if a certain conversation has taken a wrong turn,
there’s absolutely nothing wrong with changing the subject and walking away.
Just remember, the other person is also trying to hold up his end of the
conversation as well.
By: Faris Alothimin
You can follow the writer on twitter: @AlothiminFaris
.jpg)
