The Art of Conversation

We all have enjoyed having conversations with particular people. They can talk with anyone about any subject in a modest and casual manner that makes you enjoy spending time with them. Having conversations with people who master this art form will make you feel like you’ve known them for years. Many people think that this kind of art is so difficult to master, and that the maestros are blessed for having it. It’s somehow true that some people have a certain natural charm, and acquiring the art of conversation is a skill that will make any person have much more success in their future.

One of the things I would recommend it for you to listen more than you speak. People may think that talking is the essence of this art form, but ironically it’s the opposite. Try to avoid conversational narcissism. Always ask interesting and thoughtful questions; we all know that people love to talk about themselves. Try not to ask obvious questions such as asking about what a person’s job is but instead ask specific questions. For instance, you can ask what could be the most difficult part in their job.  Try your best to give a chance for someone else to speak.  If you noticed that you’ve been talking for so long and nobody is asking questions, commenting, or showing any signs of interactions that most likely shows that you talked for so long. Hand the microphone to someone else.

You could also prepare in advance some topics to talk about before an event or a family gathering, however, use this very sparingly. You don’t want to see just one side of a person. I usually think about the people that I’m going to meet, and I start preparing topics that fit that group of individuals. For example, people talking about sports, try gathering some recent information on sports and prepare it for them, and the same case with people interested in economy or politics etc. If you don’t know the people you’ll be conversing with, you can try thinking about topics that might interest them.

Please, please, please think before you speak! Many embarrassing situations happen due to the lack of thinking before speaking. You rant about a person and that person is the uncle of someone in the room. To avoid offending someone, don’t throw statements out of the blue. For example, instead of saying, “ Have you seen what that idiot did?” say, “What do you think of his new plans, do you agree with it?”

Do not interrupt people in the middle of their sentences. An easy way to avoid this is to wait until the other person has stopped talking, and it’s your turn to start. Never say,” Are you done?” unless you prefer being rude. Another kind of interruption is drifting away from the main point by saying, “By the way…” this kind of interruption will indicate to the listener that you’re either rude or acting stupid just to show that you don’t agree with his point.

Don’t talk to one person in a group; this will make the other people feel awkward and uncomfortable. It doesn’t necessary have to be literally talking to someone, but also it can be by choosing topics that only the person you’re conversing with understands such as talking about events related to his or her job. Moreover, avoid inside jokes and the “Remember when’s” because only the person you’re conversing with will get these jokes and you’ll leave the rest of the group bored and uninterested.

Don’t try to act superior to someone. For example, if someone told you that he bought a new watch, don’t reply by showing that you have a better watch and this watch was handmade in a European country. A person who does this will feel that he’s superior over the other; on the contrary, it’s actually showing his egotistical character.

Avoid giving out too much information. Trust me, we’ve all met at least one person who pours out their life story and tell you all of their problems. In a few minutes you will know why his family isn’t sending him money anymore, what difficulties he has in his relationship with his wife, and why he will never be able to buy his dream car. Don’t give everything out to the first person you talk to, if you do, you will show other people how desperate you are. Also don’t look for deep secrets of the person you’re talking to, respect other people’s privacy.

            The most important rule is that there are no rules. There aren’t specific steps to follow to carryout a conversation. Act natural, if a certain conversation has taken a wrong turn, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with changing the subject and walking away. Just remember, the other person is also trying to hold up his end of the conversation as well.

By: Faris Alothimin

You can follow the writer on twitter: @AlothiminFaris